Touch-less

I touch myself and I cry..............
I thought I should reach the happiest moment but I didn't
Sadness came to my mind and I can't get rid of it

Why you turn my life so miserable? When I think of you, I just can't go on.

I know I can't cry but I can't stop myself, neither.

I wish you come to pat my shoulder and tell me 'you are my girl' but my thoughts won't change anything between you and me. All my efforts and time on you went in vain completely. I can't face this cruel reality but can't escape it, neither.

I cry out to the God and wish so much He will help me. But I know He won't. I deserve all of these punishments - He said. When I see the lights in the other end tunnel? I don't know. I hope once time goes by, I will be better and better. I'd be better off without you - I thought naively. But life without you, it's so hard.